I Need The Cross of Christ

Oh what a wretched man I am...

These words constantly ring through my ears, especially on weekends like this. These weekends constantly remind me of how much I need the Cross, how much I need Jesus' Resurrection, how much I need Him to save me, because I am such a wretched man.

I'm reminded through working with my fellow service members, what sin has done to this place, and I never feel more alien to it, than when I am working amongst them. This world is not my home, and I am anxious for the day to be re-united face to face with Christ Jesus my Lord. It is through the slandering, and the gossip, the talk of sex, the joking and laughing of the world that I need something that is above it all. A king who rules over the sin of the Earth, not despite it.

It is in worship that I can glimpse my Jesus.

Worship is how I'm able to lift my eyes momentarily. To do what the author of Hebrews says,

"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put our of joint but rather be healed."

Worshiping helps me lift my hands, even when I do not feel like it, when I've had a bad week, or day. When I've been surrounded by sin, and am just physically and emotionally exhausted from trying to hold  a defense, to guard my heart. I am weak towards Jesus, but thank God we serve a Savior who is strong! Whose power is made perfect in our weaknesses! I have to remember that we are in an epic race towards the finish, that we are carrying our crosses as best as we can, and sometimes it doesn't feel like its enough.

We desperately need to think on Jesus.

When we think on Jesus, we need to remember that it was His cross that saves, and we are just running after Him, after His glory, after His love. Hebrews 12:3 says,

"Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."

Remember, what you are running for is the point. You're not just set free from something, you are set free for something. For Christ, and His glory. The Westminster Catechism says that the chief end of man is glorify God, and enjoy him forever. That is what you’ve been saved for.

I'm reminded every time I go on Facebook that I'm a weak person, because I trust in Jesus. I want to get angry, to pour out my thoughts into a response blurb and think to myself, "Yea, I'm a great Christian, I just did what I'm supposed to do, I defended the Gospel, and I proved them wrong.” I am, frequently, reminded by the Spirit that I am weak.

I am completely weak. I can't even stop myself from sinning against the God I want to serve, and love. Which is why I desperately need the Cross of Christ. We who have been called out of death and into life know this is true. That the Gospel isn't I used to do this thing and now I don't do it. The Gospel is, I was dead, and Jesus called me out of my grave. I was helpless against death and sin, and Jesus in his almighty, burning love, called me out from my sin, took it, and gave me His righteousness.

I've listen to a song frequently by Bellarive called Tendons. It's an alternative Christian band, and it has a spoken word in the middle of it, and it always speaks to my soul.

"If the Titanic was made to sink
Then so was my heart
For I made sure it was impenetrable
Oh, what a wretched man I am.

Who will save me from this flesh?
Paul whispers in my ear
Oh, don't worry my friend
You're in good company.

Poets before me have tried
To measure this love
And if 40,000 brothers cannot
With all of their quantity of love
Make up this sum
Then how can my heart contain this mass?

It would only burst at the seams into
A million tender pieces
So what then?
What good is a broken heart to You
Could you even hear my heart from there?

And like a father assuring his son
To come home
Oh my son, it's enough, it's enough."

How I desperately need the Cross of Christ. Because it is enough, it's more than enough.